Rafa, the wanderer

.....this has been the most confusing year ever...


like, up until now, i have always thought i had time. i had time to really think about my career, to really prepare myself for my future.

but now, its getting too real, too close. like, i have to choose what i want to do with the rest of my life by YESTERDAY, i have to apply to every school possible and see what is required for me to enter.

its like, i was just fine a few months ago. i wasn't perfect, but i was better.
suddenly i cant stop worrying

i cant stop freaking out about everything

i cant stop dwelling on sad stuff

ultimately, i cant stop.

at least there used to be huge time gaps between the times i have freaked out like this. but now this is a constant day-to-day battle.

who is this person and where did he come from?


i need to see my spiritual shrink, or whatever you call it. i need some sort of guidance


-rafa

Things i did when i couldnt sleep this winter break

1) Play Kingdom Hearts. and take pics :P

my favorite is the "sUpreme Darkness" one. altho Kairi's eyes aren't that bad either

2) Money jars!!!




i am attempting to save money.


i used the hot glue gun to make swirls, then i painted it yellow, then i painted it again with two coats of gold paint, cheapo wall mart paint. the yellow base coat gives the gold a yellower tone, because the gold paint it like too thin.

it looks liek a honey jar from winnie the pooh. maybe i've been playing too much kingdom hearts :D

(ignore my foot in the corner of the picture)


I might as well talk about my goals. lets see:

i kept my room clean.

i worked out. not exactly everyday, but amazingly constant.

played kingdom hearts :P and actually won the game

i sorta made art and crafted. sorta. because i threw out or painted over most of what i did. but at least i could experiment

and i didn't paint my room

but overall

SUCCESS

-rafa

♥

i need to freaking finish that story for her.
-rafa