Rafa, The Time Traveler

If you had some sort of time machine, where would you travel to? Using the word "where" instead of the word "when" seems erroneous, since I am referring to travelling to a specific time, no matter how far back or how far beyond in time. If technology were advanced enough for me to roam through time, I wouldnt want to stray to far from the new millennium. I would set my time machine to a familiar era. In this case, I would want to travel to the nineties, since I spent most of my childhood throughout this period of time. When visiting this specific era, I would go to all the places I grew up in. By doing this, I would get a second look at some of the most beautiful moments in my life. I would witness my first years, which include my first words and steps, and I would get to see my parents at a younger age. If I could go back in time to the nineties, I would get to relive some of my fondest childhood memories.

Rafa, The Woman

I once had a frightful dream where I had been transformed into a woman. Even more so, a nightmare, for I was a man incarcerated in a beautiful woman’s body, left in a man’s world where most wanted to keep me as a trophy for themselves. At one point, I got tired of being this prize men sought after, so I decided to go beyond what was expected of a beautiful woman, by getting an education and becoming a successful businesswoman. But, even though I had a triumphant career, I still was seen as just a beautiful woman, only this time, no man ever dared to pursue me. Days after this stupor, I found this dream of mine to be a reality to most women. I realized that if, for some reason, I were turned into a woman, I would not survive a week alive, due to the fact that I am not strong enough to be a woman.

Brainstorming: "Does being sexually active give or take power away?"

Being sexually active doesn't give any gender power. Being male and sexually active doesn't give men any more power than the power they were practically born with. And sexually active girls are the ones that end up losing power in some sort of way, but they gain that power back in time. This happens when females choose to take control over their sexuality (instead of letting society, men, or other women dictate what is acceptable.)

Bread

Right when I was picked up from school, there was this discussion I didn't get to analyze because I was sorta napping, sorta not. All I heard was yelling

I had three pounds of this really good bread in the car. I was eating tiny pieces of bread because I was hungry

The discussion stopped when we got home. I was still in the car while everyone was outside. As I went to take another piece of bread, a cockroach crawled out the bread bag and just kept on walking.

I still ate the piece


but anyway, cockroaches to me represent the tiny problems that are part of something much bigger.

I'm not saying i only see them after a discussion, because that's not true. But I'm just saying that I don't remember a discussion that didn't involve me seeing a cockroach at some point

whenever I see one, I just do what I always do: ignore it.

if I kill it, there will be more anyway

unless we resolve the problem...

we fumigate, i mean.

-rafa

Rafa, the wanderer

.....this has been the most confusing year ever...


like, up until now, i have always thought i had time. i had time to really think about my career, to really prepare myself for my future.

but now, its getting too real, too close. like, i have to choose what i want to do with the rest of my life by YESTERDAY, i have to apply to every school possible and see what is required for me to enter.

its like, i was just fine a few months ago. i wasn't perfect, but i was better.
suddenly i cant stop worrying

i cant stop freaking out about everything

i cant stop dwelling on sad stuff

ultimately, i cant stop.

at least there used to be huge time gaps between the times i have freaked out like this. but now this is a constant day-to-day battle.

who is this person and where did he come from?


i need to see my spiritual shrink, or whatever you call it. i need some sort of guidance


-rafa

Things i did when i couldnt sleep this winter break

1) Play Kingdom Hearts. and take pics :P

my favorite is the "sUpreme Darkness" one. altho Kairi's eyes aren't that bad either

2) Money jars!!!




i am attempting to save money.


i used the hot glue gun to make swirls, then i painted it yellow, then i painted it again with two coats of gold paint, cheapo wall mart paint. the yellow base coat gives the gold a yellower tone, because the gold paint it like too thin.

it looks liek a honey jar from winnie the pooh. maybe i've been playing too much kingdom hearts :D

(ignore my foot in the corner of the picture)


I might as well talk about my goals. lets see:

i kept my room clean.

i worked out. not exactly everyday, but amazingly constant.

played kingdom hearts :P and actually won the game

i sorta made art and crafted. sorta. because i threw out or painted over most of what i did. but at least i could experiment

and i didn't paint my room

but overall

SUCCESS

-rafa

♥

i need to freaking finish that story for her.
-rafa